[Magdalen] Inane inanities

[James Oppenheimer-Crawford]

​
•   Venison for dinner again?
Oh deer!


•   How does Moses make tea?
Hebrews it.


•    England has no kidney bank,
But it does have a Liverpool.


•    I tried to catch some fog,
But I mist


•    They told me I had type-A blood,
But it was a Typo.


 •    I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.
It's syncing now.


 •    Jokes about German sausage
Are the wurst.


 •    I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid,
But he says he can stop any time.


 •    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went,
And then it dawned on me.


 •    This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,
But I'd never met herbivore.


•    When chemists die,
They barium.


•    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I just can't put it down.


•    I did a theatrical performance about puns.
It was a play on words.


 •    Why were the Indians here first?
They had reservations.


 •    I didn't like my beard at first.
Then it grew on me.


•    Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job;
Because she couldn't control her pupils


 •    When you get a bladder infection,
Urine trouble.


 •    Broken pencils
Are pointless.


 •    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.


 •    I dropped out of communism class
Because of lousy Marx.


 •    I got a job at a bakery
Because I kneaded dough.


 •    Velcro –
What a rip off!


 •    Don’t worry about old age;
It doesn’t last.

​I know: <groan>

James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
*“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy