[Magdalen] Ethical question

[Marion Thompson]

By their deeds ye shall know them.  This is not a friend at all. Friends 
don't cherry pick their way through the relationship, taking only the 
bits that they find pleasant and easy while leaving you to drown in Real 
Life.  The gifts?  Do what you will with them, but don't return them.

Marion, a pilgrim


On 1/18/2017 9:37 PM, Molly Wolf wrote:
> Opinions solicited.
>
> I have just put an end to what I thought had been a close friendship because the "friend" in question made it clear that she would offer no support to me during my bout with cancer but wanted to resume the friendship, unchanged, when I recovered.  I think she has a "thing" about being overwhelmed. I've tried to patch this up several times, but she has a way of doggedly sidestepping.  She has made no offer to help and has not called to ask how I'm doing.  Nada.
>
> So on Sunday, after one last unsatisfactory exchange, I texted her asking her not to contact me again, and she responded with a cheery note making social noises and saying "I didn't read your note so that we can still do tea".  "Do tea" means that she comes over to my house bringing little prezzies of cute things or treats to eat, like the cat bringing me a mouse, and I make tea.
>
> This reaction finally blew my gasket and I told her in no uncertain terms to bug off and leave me alone.  I also did the unfriending/blocking thing.  She could, of course, email me, but she hasn't.
>
> Now for the ethical question:  I want to declutter, including getting rid of the prezzies.  I would prefer to return them to her, but would that be the right thing to do?
>
> When my GP and I first talked about my cancer, she asked after my support network and I named this friend as my mainstay.  I can understand and forgive, but it may take me a while to stop being gnarly.
>
> Thanks!
> Molly
>
> The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. -- Mark Twain
> .
>