[Magdalen] Inane inanities

[James Oppenheimer-Crawford]

At an event my wife attended, she told me that one of the ladies had the
job of having one joke ready for each meeting.

A man came to the doctor's office and complained he had a bad cough.
The doctor examined him and gave him a prescription.
After a while the man returned, complaining the medicine had done no good.
The doctor gave him a stronger medication.
A while later, the man came in and said he still had a bad cough.
The doctor gave him another medication.
A few days later, the doctor's associate happened to look out the window to
the street and saw the man walking by, very slowly with his head down, but
not coughing.
"Doctor, I just saw that patient with the bad cough walk by, and I noticed
he did not cough once. How did you do it?"
"Simple," said the doctor. "I gave him a very potent laxative.  Now he's
AFRAID to cough."



James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
*“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy

On Tue, Jan 17, 2017 at 5:48 AM, Jon Egger <revegger at gmail.com> wrote:

> Deeelightful!
>
> On Tue, Jan 17, 2017 at 1:20 AM, James Oppenheimer-Crawford <
> oppenheimerjw at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > ​
> > •   Venison for dinner again?
> > Oh deer!
> >
> >
> > •   How does Moses make tea?
> > Hebrews it.
> >
> >
> > •    England has no kidney bank,
> > But it does have a Liverpool.
> >
> >
> > •    I tried to catch some fog,
> > But I mist
> >
> >
> > •    They told me I had type-A blood,
> > But it was a Typo.
> >
> >
> >  •    I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.
> > It's syncing now.
> >
> >
> >  •    Jokes about German sausage
> > Are the wurst.
> >
> >
> >  •    I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid,
> > But he says he can stop any time.
> >
> >
> >  •    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went,
> > And then it dawned on me.
> >
> >
> >  •    This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,
> > But I'd never met herbivore.
> >
> >
> > •    When chemists die,
> > They barium.
> >
> >
> > •    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
> > I just can't put it down.
> >
> >
> > •    I did a theatrical performance about puns.
> > It was a play on words.
> >
> >
> >  •    Why were the Indians here first?
> > They had reservations.
> >
> >
> >  •    I didn't like my beard at first.
> > Then it grew on me.
> >
> >
> > •    Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job;
> > Because she couldn't control her pupils
> >
> >
> >  •    When you get a bladder infection,
> > Urine trouble.
> >
> >
> >  •    Broken pencils
> > Are pointless.
> >
> >
> >  •    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
> > A thesaurus.
> >
> >
> >  •    I dropped out of communism class
> > Because of lousy Marx.
> >
> >
> >  •    I got a job at a bakery
> > Because I kneaded dough.
> >
> >
> >  •    Velcro –
> > What a rip off!
> >
> >
> >  •    Don’t worry about old age;
> > It doesn’t last.
> >
> > ​I know: <groan>
> >
> > James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
> > *“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
> > except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy
> >
>
>
>
> --
> If no one has told you that they love you today,
> let me be the first.
> brud
>