[Magdalen] legal funnies

[James Oppenheimer-Crawford]

The judge was hearing a case where a 14 year old was driving a motorcycle
without a license because he was too young. He was accompanied by his
mother. She was small but loud, and the 14 year old was big (looked 18).
Throughout the morning she had been nagging him about one thing or
another—wasting my time, lazy good for nothing, etc. The young boy was
quiet and appeared contrite.

When their time came, the mom again reminded the boy to be quiet and not
say a word.

The clerk read the case. The judge looked at her notes and pronounced
judgment. “Case dismissed with 60 days suspended sentence on the condition
that the defendant does not ride the motorcycle until he turns 16 and gets
a license.” This was the least the judge could do.

The mother erupted with anger. “60 days suspended sentence. Are you crazy.
He has to go to school. He has to do chores.” Clearly, she did not
understand what suspended sentence meant.

The judge then stated. “Are you finished? I could make it contingent on
selling the motorcycle.”

Mom: “That’s crazy. You’re nuts.”

The judge: “Suspended sentence contingent on selling the motorcycle and you
(indicating to the mom) get to spend the night in jail for contempt of
court.

The boy, who hadn’t said a word all morning. “Thank you, your honor.”

The entire court erupted in laughter.


James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
*“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy