[Magdalen] Brother headed for ordination

[M J _Mike_ Logsdon]

>>>The danger is for the (I suspect) minority who may combine their own (over-inflated) sense of vocation with a desire to control others.  It is probably that desire to have dedicated followers which is the big danger sign.<<<

My bailing on the indie ministry (and basically all religion for a while, some might remember; call it a spiritual and intellectual palate-cleansing) was based basically on the danger you identify.  It wasn't that I didn't want to do good for the souls who'd care to give me and my little church the time of day, but ultimately it was more about my ego.  When I realised I was more or less not the Chosen One to take on the Presiding Mantle someday any more, I realised I was in it for the wrong reasons.  Plus, I finally got fed up with the Abp's unwavering expecation that I, here in Salinas, wasn't just going to "carry on" in his place once he'd shuffled, but "carry on" his Spanish ministry specifically.  I kept telling him I'd definitely take the passed torch, "his people" and all, but only if he and they understood it would from that point forward be purely an English ministry, and one with prepared sermons to boot.  But it just wouldn't take.  My biggest clue of my failure (via that iteration anyway) was my chronic affliction of profuse-sweating panic attacks whenever I took over for him when he was out of town or under the weather or whatever.  I've always experienced such a phenomenon on rare occasions, but my commitment to plowing through in spite of it wasn't exactly the ticket to help these Latin-american souls who knew NOTHING about me feel comfortable with their priest literally losing what would appeared to be (and felt like to me) the excretion of my entire store of bodily moisture right there in front of them.  The day it reached critical mass (Mass!) and even the youth present gave me seriously worried looks, I drove away with "F*ck it!" on my lips and swore I'd never come back.  I didn't.  Shortly after, I quit saying my own Masses as well.  An era had ended.

Too wordy, but I think you get the point.  Effective clerical oversight would have made sure I never got that far.  Much less ordained.

>>>I am not aware of the Desert Fathers and Mothers having much direct oversight to keep them on the straight and narrow.<<<

Not at all related, but it could be, is my favorite quote from Msgr Ronald Knox, in which he said (not quoting exactly) that Tertullian's converting to Montanism was like if Cardinal Newman had joined the Salvation Army.  Gotta love it.

M J (Mike) Logsdon.

"Aaugh[.]" -- Charles Brown.
"Avoid dull needles and use a soft cloth." -- E Kovacs.