[Magdalen] Reunion blues

[Scott Knitter]

What a marvelous reconciliation out of a moment of self-sharing and
forgiveness, 40 years on, Simon!

I was just thinking, though, how Facebook may have changed class reunions
somewhat: classmate Mike Wilkins could say he's been working as a producer
at WBUR in Boston for The World, a joint production of WBUR and the BBC
World Service. And we'd all say, "Yep, we know from Facebook...how cool!
What celebrities have you met lately, and what is Marco Wurman like?" Mary
Jane Mudd could tell tales of being a spokeswoman for the Red Cross in
Houston during the horrible floods, and having to take harsh criticism for
perceived inadequacies in the shelters. "I know...how terrible; the
pictures were unbelievable." And I guess I can keep my own story brief and
avoid the glazed-over look when I explain what I do as a proposal manager
for an end-to-end digital technology provider. "For details, see my
LinkedIn page." :)

So fewer amazing tales of what-I'm-doing-now and more just spontaneous time
with people you've kept up with on all the newsy stuff. But I'm sure some
amazement at seeing folks who don't show up on Facebook and whom one hasn't
thought about in years.

On Fri, Sep 7, 2018 at 3:29 PM Simon Kershaw <simon at kershaw.org.uk> wrote:

> I went to my 40th reunion last year.
>
> Soon afterwards I wrote this:
>
> 'And secondly there was meeting the person who had been the class bully,
> and I one of his victims. "I was in two minds whether to come," he said,
> "and especially what I would say to you." "We didn't always get on, did
> we?" I replied, putting my arm round his shoulder. "I was horrible," he
> said, "not a nice person at all. I was bullied at home and I behaved the
> same at school." I think it was a moment of closure for both of us, 40
> years on.' https://www.facebook.com/kershaw.simon/posts/1423775084383838
>
> and then added this in a private email:
>
> 'The background on Saturday was that the two of us had bumped into each
> other very early on in the afternoon, and I had asked what he had been
> doing and we chatted about our families and careers. Then later we found
> ourselves together again, and that's when the reported conversation took
> place, but after he had said that he didn't know how or what he would
> say to me he added "but you were brilliant, you just talked to me", and
> it was at that moment that it occurred to me that I had it completely in
> my power to show that he was forgiven (I explicitly use religious
> language here). My gesture and words were completely spontaneous but
> intended to convey that. I presume they did so because he then opened up
> about his background. That was not known to me at the time (and doesn't
> absolve him of responsibility for what he did), but I really sensed
> there was closure for him in this. And later, as I wrote the Facebook
> post, I realized that in a sense there was also closure for me.
> I didn't expect any of that to happen on Saturday.
> So ... okay, I'm happy for this to be shared with the Headmaster if you
> wish to do so. But any further sharing I'd want to think about a bit more.'
>
> You never know what's going to happen, or what impact it might have, do
> you?
>
> simon
>
> On 07/09/2018 21.13, Rick Mashburn wrote:
> > I've never been to any of my reunions. I have absolutely no regrets. I
> see
> > the people I want to see from time to time and have no interest in the
> > rest.
>
>
>
> --
> Simon Kershaw
> simon at kershaw.org.uk
> Saint Ives, Cambridgeshire
>


-- 
Scott R. Knitter
Edgewater, Chicago, Illinois USA