[Magdalen] Reunion blues

[Lesley de Voil]

Agreeing wholeheartedly with those who would say, “If you don’t go, there
may be never another opportunity for closure in an unresolved breakdown in
relationship.” I went to the funeral of the wife of a colleague, and met up
with another ex-colleague whom I had resented for years. Suffice it to say,
we have both changed (? matured) and have become completely reconciled
since then. If I had not gone to the funeral, even out of a sense of duty,
this reconciliation may never have happened.

Regards
Lesley de Voil

On Sat, 8 Sep 2018 at 07:38, Scott Knitter <scottknitter at gmail.com> wrote:

> What a marvelous reconciliation out of a moment of self-sharing and
> forgiveness, 40 years on, Simon!
>
> I was just thinking, though, how Facebook may have changed class reunions
> somewhat: classmate Mike Wilkins could say he's been working as a producer
> at WBUR in Boston for The World, a joint production of WBUR and the BBC
> World Service. And we'd all say, "Yep, we know from Facebook...how cool!
> What celebrities have you met lately, and what is Marco Wurman like?" Mary
> Jane Mudd could tell tales of being a spokeswoman for the Red Cross in
> Houston during the horrible floods, and having to take harsh criticism for
> perceived inadequacies in the shelters. "I know...how terrible; the
> pictures were unbelievable." And I guess I can keep my own story brief and
> avoid the glazed-over look when I explain what I do as a proposal manager
> for an end-to-end digital technology provider. "For details, see my
> LinkedIn page." :)
>
> So fewer amazing tales of what-I'm-doing-now and more just spontaneous time
> with people you've kept up with on all the newsy stuff. But I'm sure some
> amazement at seeing folks who don't show up on Facebook and whom one hasn't
> thought about in years.
>
> On Fri, Sep 7, 2018 at 3:29 PM Simon Kershaw <simon at kershaw.org.uk> wrote:
>
> > I went to my 40th reunion last year.
> >
> > Soon afterwards I wrote this:
> >
> > 'And secondly there was meeting the person who had been the class bully,
> > and I one of his victims. "I was in two minds whether to come," he said,
> > "and especially what I would say to you." "We didn't always get on, did
> > we?" I replied, putting my arm round his shoulder. "I was horrible," he
> > said, "not a nice person at all. I was bullied at home and I behaved the
> > same at school." I think it was a moment of closure for both of us, 40
> > years on.' https://www.facebook.com/kershaw.simon/posts/1423775084383838
> >
> > and then added this in a private email:
> >
> > 'The background on Saturday was that the two of us had bumped into each
> > other very early on in the afternoon, and I had asked what he had been
> > doing and we chatted about our families and careers. Then later we found
> > ourselves together again, and that's when the reported conversation took
> > place, but after he had said that he didn't know how or what he would
> > say to me he added "but you were brilliant, you just talked to me", and
> > it was at that moment that it occurred to me that I had it completely in
> > my power to show that he was forgiven (I explicitly use religious
> > language here). My gesture and words were completely spontaneous but
> > intended to convey that. I presume they did so because he then opened up
> > about his background. That was not known to me at the time (and doesn't
> > absolve him of responsibility for what he did), but I really sensed
> > there was closure for him in this. And later, as I wrote the Facebook
> > post, I realized that in a sense there was also closure for me.
> > I didn't expect any of that to happen on Saturday.
> > So ... okay, I'm happy for this to be shared with the Headmaster if you
> > wish to do so. But any further sharing I'd want to think about a bit
> more.'
> >
> > You never know what's going to happen, or what impact it might have, do
> > you?
> >
> > simon
> >
> > On 07/09/2018 21.13, Rick Mashburn wrote:
> > > I've never been to any of my reunions. I have absolutely no regrets. I
> > see
> > > the people I want to see from time to time and have no interest in the
> > > rest.
> >
> >
> >
> > --
> > Simon Kershaw
> > simon at kershaw.org.uk
> > Saint Ives, Cambridgeshire
> >
>
>
> --
> Scott R. Knitter
> Edgewater, Chicago, Illinois USA
>
-- 
Sent from MetroMail