[Magdalen] This saying No is tough

[Scott Knitter]

I really think this is getting better, and much faster with our new
rector. There is caring and compassion, and a community feeling, and
breakdowns in all of this, like many parishes. Long gone are the days
(if there were such days...there may have been) when it was "all about
the liturgy, and don't talk to me about pastoral needs." The
dysfunctional attitude I run into with one person in particular is his
frequent comment that "it's a new neighborhood" with the new rector
and all changes are gratuitous or uninformed (because all priests
should know how to do everything according to some standard that's out
there that everyone just knows somehow). And I disagree with that
assessment, wholeheartedly. I support the changes that Fr. Cobb has
made (in liturgical matters and others) because they're well thought
out and based on lots of experience.

One thing that needs to happen soon is a personal meeting (over lunch
or just in his office) with the rector to get to know each other
better. Only so much can be discussed in quick encounters in the
sacristy.

On Tue, Sep 23, 2014 at 11:54 AM, Molly Wolf <lupa at kos.net> wrote:
> What Jay said.
>
> Molly
>
> The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. -- Mark Twain
>
>> On Sep 23, 2014, at 12:24 PM, Jay Weigel <jay.weigel at gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> ISTM that Jim G's assessment is accurate, and that love for ritual and
>> style should not trump desire for a caring community, in the sum of things.
>> Scott must decide what is most important to him, and I trust that, with the
>> help of his therapist, he will do that.
>>
>>> On Tue, Sep 23, 2014 at 8:50 AM, Jim Guthrie <jguthrie at pipeline.com> wrote:
>>>
>>> From: Susan Hagen
>>>
>>> It is tough but it gets much easier with practice.  The important
>>>> thing is to never, ever, get drawn into explanations.  No is no.
>>>
>>> In Scott's situation, it may even be that the explanation will have no
>>> effect at all, let alone saying, "No" or even "Not right now.."
>>>
>>> From what Scott has related, he's been willing and able to do what he's
>>> been asked, but right now he's dealing with personal issues that need time
>>> and clear-thinking and relief from obligations.
>>>
>>> In a "normal" parish where there's great concern and care for each other,
>>> the situation would be understood, and other parish members would pitch in,
>>> with no explanation needed. But Scott's situation is challenging because it
>>> appears that neither fellow parishioners nor the Rector give much of a hoot
>>> about his situation.
>>>
>>> This is not about burnout, or offering ones gifts as one is able. It's
>>> about Christian Community, or lack of it, I think.
>>>
>>> Cheers,
>>> Jim Guthrie
>>>



-- 
Scott R. Knitter
Edgewater, Chicago, Illinois USA