[Magdalen] This saying No is tough

[Grace Cangialosi]

Sounds very good, Scott, especially the plan to meet with the new rector. I hope that can happen sooner rather than later.

> On Sep 23, 2014, at 1:28 PM, Scott Knitter <scottknitter at gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> I really think this is getting better, and much faster with our new
> rector. There is caring and compassion, and a community feeling, and
> breakdowns in all of this, like many parishes. Long gone are the days
> (if there were such days...there may have been) when it was "all about
> the liturgy, and don't talk to me about pastoral needs." The
> dysfunctional attitude I run into with one person in particular is his
> frequent comment that "it's a new neighborhood" with the new rector
> and all changes are gratuitous or uninformed (because all priests
> should know how to do everything according to some standard that's out
> there that everyone just knows somehow). And I disagree with that
> assessment, wholeheartedly. I support the changes that Fr. Cobb has
> made (in liturgical matters and others) because they're well thought
> out and based on lots of experience.
> 
> One thing that needs to happen soon is a personal meeting (over lunch
> or just in his office) with the rector to get to know each other
> better. Only so much can be discussed in quick encounters in the
> sacristy.
> 
>> On Tue, Sep 23, 2014 at 11:54 AM, Molly Wolf <lupa at kos.net> wrote:
>> What Jay said.
>> 
>> Molly
>> 
>> The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. -- Mark Twain
>> 
>>> On Sep 23, 2014, at 12:24 PM, Jay Weigel <jay.weigel at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> 
>>> ISTM that Jim G's assessment is accurate, and that love for ritual and
>>> style should not trump desire for a caring community, in the sum of things.
>>> Scott must decide what is most important to him, and I trust that, with the
>>> help of his therapist, he will do that.
>>> 
>>>> On Tue, Sep 23, 2014 at 8:50 AM, Jim Guthrie <jguthrie at pipeline.com> wrote:
>>>> 
>>>> From: Susan Hagen
>>>> 
>>>> It is tough but it gets much easier with practice.  The important
>>>>> thing is to never, ever, get drawn into explanations.  No is no.
>>>> 
>>>> In Scott's situation, it may even be that the explanation will have no
>>>> effect at all, let alone saying, "No" or even "Not right now.."
>>>> 
>>>> From what Scott has related, he's been willing and able to do what he's
>>>> been asked, but right now he's dealing with personal issues that need time
>>>> and clear-thinking and relief from obligations.
>>>> 
>>>> In a "normal" parish where there's great concern and care for each other,
>>>> the situation would be understood, and other parish members would pitch in,
>>>> with no explanation needed. But Scott's situation is challenging because it
>>>> appears that neither fellow parishioners nor the Rector give much of a hoot
>>>> about his situation.
>>>> 
>>>> This is not about burnout, or offering ones gifts as one is able. It's
>>>> about Christian Community, or lack of it, I think.
>>>> 
>>>> Cheers,
>>>> Jim Guthrie
> 
> 
> 
> -- 
> Scott R. Knitter
> Edgewater, Chicago, Illinois USA