[Magdalen] This saying No is tough

[Jay Weigel]

Seconding what Grace said, and suggesting that you put the idea forward.

On Tue, Sep 23, 2014 at 1:33 PM, Grace Cangialosi <gracecan at gmail.com>
wrote:

> Sounds very good, Scott, especially the plan to meet with the new rector.
> I hope that can happen sooner rather than later.
>
> > On Sep 23, 2014, at 1:28 PM, Scott Knitter <scottknitter at gmail.com>
> wrote:
> >
> > I really think this is getting better, and much faster with our new
> > rector. There is caring and compassion, and a community feeling, and
> > breakdowns in all of this, like many parishes. Long gone are the days
> > (if there were such days...there may have been) when it was "all about
> > the liturgy, and don't talk to me about pastoral needs." The
> > dysfunctional attitude I run into with one person in particular is his
> > frequent comment that "it's a new neighborhood" with the new rector
> > and all changes are gratuitous or uninformed (because all priests
> > should know how to do everything according to some standard that's out
> > there that everyone just knows somehow). And I disagree with that
> > assessment, wholeheartedly. I support the changes that Fr. Cobb has
> > made (in liturgical matters and others) because they're well thought
> > out and based on lots of experience.
> >
> > One thing that needs to happen soon is a personal meeting (over lunch
> > or just in his office) with the rector to get to know each other
> > better. Only so much can be discussed in quick encounters in the
> > sacristy.
> >
> >> On Tue, Sep 23, 2014 at 11:54 AM, Molly Wolf <lupa at kos.net> wrote:
> >> What Jay said.
> >>
> >> Molly
> >>
> >> The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in
> no other way. -- Mark Twain
> >>
> >>> On Sep 23, 2014, at 12:24 PM, Jay Weigel <jay.weigel at gmail.com> wrote:
> >>>
> >>> ISTM that Jim G's assessment is accurate, and that love for ritual and
> >>> style should not trump desire for a caring community, in the sum of
> things.
> >>> Scott must decide what is most important to him, and I trust that,
> with the
> >>> help of his therapist, he will do that.
> >>>
> >>>> On Tue, Sep 23, 2014 at 8:50 AM, Jim Guthrie <jguthrie at pipeline.com>
> wrote:
> >>>>
> >>>> From: Susan Hagen
> >>>>
> >>>> It is tough but it gets much easier with practice.  The important
> >>>>> thing is to never, ever, get drawn into explanations.  No is no.
> >>>>
> >>>> In Scott's situation, it may even be that the explanation will have no
> >>>> effect at all, let alone saying, "No" or even "Not right now.."
> >>>>
> >>>> From what Scott has related, he's been willing and able to do what
> he's
> >>>> been asked, but right now he's dealing with personal issues that need
> time
> >>>> and clear-thinking and relief from obligations.
> >>>>
> >>>> In a "normal" parish where there's great concern and care for each
> other,
> >>>> the situation would be understood, and other parish members would
> pitch in,
> >>>> with no explanation needed. But Scott's situation is challenging
> because it
> >>>> appears that neither fellow parishioners nor the Rector give much of
> a hoot
> >>>> about his situation.
> >>>>
> >>>> This is not about burnout, or offering ones gifts as one is able. It's
> >>>> about Christian Community, or lack of it, I think.
> >>>>
> >>>> Cheers,
> >>>> Jim Guthrie
> >
> >
> >
> > --
> > Scott R. Knitter
> > Edgewater, Chicago, Illinois USA
>