[Magdalen] Marcy update

[James Oppenheimer-Crawford]

After Helen, my mother-in-law, had a stroke, she had paralysis on one side.
She was in denial about this, and sometimes attempted to get out of her
wheelchair. Sometimes she would get far enough that she would fall. The
nursing staff would call Christine each time this happened.  While this was
disconcerting to all of us, we soon became aware that with any loss of
motor control in some part of the body, the person simply does not
recognize that this is happening.  I think it is a kind of denial defense
mechanism that is common to all of us if we get to that point.

This, of course does not make your situation any easier, but it is perhaps
helpful to consider that, among all the other things going on, your wife
cannot discern that she has lost some of her body function.  This seems, on
the face of it, absurd, except that I have read about it being fairly
common, especially with stroke victims.  It isn't a matter of childish
stubbornness but a matter of simply genuinely not being aware -- even if it
is (to our perception) as plain as the nose on your face.

I wish I had some practical advice. It is like the person is invoking their
last line of defense -- denial -- to save what dignity they have left.





James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
*“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy

On Tue, Dec 1, 2015 at 11:30 PM, AT&T <jhandsfield at att.net> wrote:

> Tonight, Marcy decided she would get up without assistance. I retrieved a
> cane she wanted. After ten months she gave up (TBTG).  She seems to be in
> denial that she can't do the things she wants to do. I'm near the end of my
> rope.
>
> Jim Handsfield
> Sent from my iPhone