[Magdalen] Advice for folks headed for geriatricity

[James Oppenheimer-Crawford]

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very
elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it?


Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter
asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'


The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.


I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
So I got my doctor's permission to
join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.
But by the time I got my leotard on, the class was over.


My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp
as it used to be.


Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
*“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy