[Magdalen] Creeping UK-ism?

[Scott Knitter]

On Sun, Jul 26, 2015 at 5:05 PM, Sibyl Smirl <polycarpa3 at ckt.net> wrote:
> I don't think that's an "American Expression", just a stupid person putting
> together a sentence.  I'd rather know whether it means "No doors will open
> at the next stop" or "Only some doors will open at the next stop."  But
> then, I don't ride mass transit often enough to have heard it.

The one that drives me crazy is the announcement heard often in rush
hour when the platform is jammed with people waiting to get on a
train, and there tend to be a few doors (of the 16 that are along one
side of a normal-length train):

"PLEASE USE ALL AVAILABLE DOORS! USE...ALL...AVAILABLE...DOORS!"

...at a deafening volume. It's not that it's a bad sentence, but it's
a stupid thing to tell a crowd to do. I, an individual passenger,
cannot use all available doors, but just one. Using all available
doors requires that the crowd elect a leader who can instantly
coordinate the crowd so that they do in fact use all available doors.
"All right, let's line up and number off, 1 to 16. Group 1, run up to
the first door at the front of the train! Group 2, your door is the
next one!" and so on.

Occasionally a sensible rail operator will, instead, say what is really meant:

"If the door you seek to enter is crowded, please go to one of the
doors that isn't so crowded." There.


-- 
Scott R. Knitter
Edgewater, Chicago, Illinois USA