[Magdalen] Short-term prayers, please

[Grace Cangialosi]

That should have been mental *health* issues. And I'm sure you realize that
my comment about prayer being the answer was sarcastic and not my real
sentiment...

On Wed, Jul 29, 2015 at 4:10 PM, Grace Cangialosi <gracecan at gmail.com>
wrote:

> Well, that's an idea, Molly, and there are a couple of people.  I had
> thought of sending the original letter to my daughter and one other friend
> to read, but decided against it and just deleted it.
> This was what I just sent my son:
> <https://us-mg5.mail.yahoo.com/neo/launch?.rand=1amvfrlmd5t4b#>
> "Today at 3:51 PM
>  I see that I have another note from you.  I haven't deleted it, but I'm
> not ready to read it yet, either.  I'll let you know if/when I do. I
> sometimes wonder if you have any idea how hurtful you can be. And then,
> after awhile, it's like you forget all about it, and things sort of go back
> to normal--until the next time."
>
> I think for now, not reading it is probably the best idea. And if you're
> thinking there may be mental issues involved, you're right. But prayer will
> take care of those; no need for medication! It's just sad all the way
> around, and I do worry about the kids--six of their own and currently two
> fosters.
>
> On Wed, Jul 29, 2015 at 3:55 PM, Molly Wolfmama <lupa at kos.net> wrote:
>
>> You've got my prayers, in spades.  What a horrible situation for you!  Is
>> there someone else who could read it in confidence and give you a précis?
>>
>> Hugs,
>> Molly
>>
>> The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no
>> other way. -- Mark Twain
>>
>> > On Jul 29, 2015, at 3:41 PM, Grace Cangialosi <gracecan at gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>> >
>> > Without going into the very long, sad history, I'm asking your prayers
>> for
>> > what will probably seem like something totally insignificant.
>> >
>> > Periodically my son subjects me to verbal or written diatribes,
>> sometimes
>> > cutting me off from seeing his children, sometimes not.  They always
>> seem
>> > to come out of left field.  This time I had responded to an article he
>> > forwarded to me, agreeing with much of it, which I thought would
>> surprise
>> > him, and thinking it might be the opening for a real conversation.
>> Instead,
>> > I got back a long, long attack, really hateful and verbally abusive. I
>> read
>> > just enough to see what was there and then deleted it. Went back later
>> and
>> > emptied it from the trash, so I wouldn't be tempted to read the whole
>> thing
>> > and spend the next three days beating myself up and wondering what I've
>> > done wrong. (Which, of course, I've been doing anyway...)
>> >
>> > Anyway--sorry this is so long--I carefully wrote a response, saying I
>> was
>> > sorry that he had felt the need to respond that way, that I had deleted
>> his
>> > message without reading most of it, because I didn't need that verbal
>> > abuse. ( I had seen that he was heading into a place I've seen
>> > before...insisting that we are all depraved and evil at heart, but my
>> pride
>> > won't let me see that, even though Scripture is clear on that. There was
>> > something to the effect that I put on this show so that people will
>> > think I'm a good person, etc.) I stopped reading there.
>> >
>> > I told him it saddens me that that's so much of his theology, that Paul
>> > really needs to be read through the lens of the Gospels and Jesus'
>> > reflection of God as a God of love. And also that God created the world
>> and
>> > saw that it was good. I ended by saying that I would continue to pray
>> that
>> > he will find that God of love and know that he is loved by God.  And
>> after
>> > much consideration, I went ahead and signed it Love, Mom.
>> >
>> > Now I see that I have a reply from him that starts out "I hope you won't
>> > delete this before reading it...,"  but I haven't opened it yet.  I'm
>> > tempted to just write back and say that I haven't read it yet because
>> I'm
>> > not ready to read it, but that I  haven't deleted it yet, either.  Maybe
>> > that would be the way to go?
>> >
>> > I also thought about forwarding it to my daughter without reading it and
>> > asking her to tell me whether to read it or not, but that seems the
>> > cowardly way to go.  She's aware of the situation, though I didn't share
>> > the other email with her. She pretty much keeps her distance from him
>> most
>> > of the time. Her take is that he finds it easier to take his anger out
>> on
>> > me than to actually deal with the things he doesn't like about himself
>> and
>> > the choices he's made.  In my head I know that's probably true, and
>> that's
>> > what I would say to someone else in this situation, but it's hard not to
>> > get hooked by this when it happens.
>> >
>> > Anyway, what I need is some clarity about the "right" thing to do now.
>> > Delete without reading? Tell him I still have it, but am not ready to
>> read
>> > it yet?  Just grit my teeth and read it? What I feel when I contemplate
>> > that last alternative is fear about what I'll find...and that is, on one
>> > level, totally ridiculous, I know. Whatever is there is already there,
>> > whether I read it or not.  And it couldn't possibly be any worse than
>> > things I've already had to take from him. It's not the different ideas I
>> > have a problem with, it's the personal attacks. And I've really worked
>> hard
>> > over the years to keep the door open to relationships with the children.
>> > There have been two different times when he barred me from seeing them
>> for
>> > several months, but then it's like he kind of forgets, and they'll
>> invite
>> > me to do something.  I don't know if my daughter-in-law is aware of all
>> of
>> > this, but I've never said anything to her. She has to do exactly what he
>> > says, and I don't need to add to her worries.
>> >
>> > Sorry...I really didn't mean to go on so long. But prayers for clarity
>> > would be welcome.
>> >
>> > Grace
>> >
>> > --
>> > Grace Cangialosi
>> > Ruckersville, VA
>> >
>> > Keep Calm and Carry OM.
>>
>
>
>
> --
> Grace Cangialosi
> Ruckersville, VA
>
> Keep Calm and Carry OM.
>



-- 
Grace Cangialosi
Ruckersville, VA

Keep Calm and Carry OM.