[Magdalen] Quiet Pub

[Scott Knitter]

James, right on...This is well written and very helpful. Thank you.  Scott

On Thu, Dec 15, 2016 at 11:11 PM, James Oppenheimer-Crawford
<oppenheimerjw at gmail.com> wrote:
> It is a sad fact that every year at this time, we run into that holiday
> which I choose to call krismus, which depresses the heck out of a lot of
> us, because, even though we don't really buy the premise of krismus, it has
> worked its way into our society to such an extent that a lot of good people
> sincerely attach a lot of the tenets of krismus to that other festival we
> observe around this time, the Feast of the Incarnation.
>
> Krismus places demands on us which usually can only be met with some
> difficulty, and, for some of us, cannot possibly be met.  We expect a lot
> from ourselves. We want to be with people who may not be the best to be
> around, for any number of reasons. We try to do a lot which we might do
> very poorly, and end up doing the task not very well, adding more guilt to
> the laundry list of stuff we haven't been "doing right."
>
> But to a large extent, we have a set of unspoken expectations or rules that
> derive from the way krismus was observed many years ago, when perhaps it
> was a bit more fun, or because in those days, shallow rites were enough for
> us. In any case, we can get this nagging sense of not measuring up, of not
> doing a good enough job of observing krismus in many ways.  We may not even
> be able to articulate these concerns in a conscious way, but the sense of
> failure and inadequacy is still quite real.  I think that a professional
> counselor can be very useful for this sort of thing, because they are often
> quite expert to putting their finger on a problem (or, more to the point,
> if they know their business, helping you to put your own finger on the
> actual problem) Often, it may take one or two sessions to help you see the
> actual problems clearly enough to get on with the business of dealing with
> them.
>
> Observing the Feast of the Incarnation will not place these expectations on
> us, so long as we maintain a good sense of what the differences are between
> krismus and Christmas.
>
> On a different tack, I'd say that if someone is feeling blue, it may well
> be reactions to unspoken demands of krismus, but depression is nothing to
> ignore, because it does not go away on its own; it can be muted by
> increased exercise, joyful activities, and even simply fulfilling
> activities, but it ought not to be ignored, nor should one assume that
> depression is just a sign of a weakness of personality. It's not. It's a
> function of cumulative life experiences and one's genetic load. It can also
> leave you especially vulnerable to life events that would ordinarily only
> be bumps on the road.
>
> James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
> *“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
> except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy
>
> On Thu, Dec 15, 2016 at 9:21 PM, Lynn Ronkainen <houstonklr at gmail.com>
> wrote:
>
>> You can't *be* to people what they don't want you to be.
>>> -M
>>>
>>
>>
>> very profound, thought provoking words.... that can be seem from various
>> positions.
>> Lynn
>>
>> website: www.ichthysdesigns.com
>>
>> When I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I have not
>> a single bit of talent left and could say, "I used everything You gave me."
>> attributed to Erma Bombeck
>> "Either Freedom for all or stop talking about Freedom at all" from a talk
>> by Richard Rohr
>>
>> --------------------------------------------------
>> From: "ME Michaud" <michaudme at gmail.com>
>> Sent: Thursday, December 15, 2016 11:50 AM
>> To: <magdalen at herberthouse.org>
>> Subject: Re: [Magdalen] Quiet Pub
>>
>> My own observation:
>>> children ignore adults far more effectively than adults ignore children.
>>>
>>> You can't *be* to people what they don't want you to be.
>>> -M
>>>
>>>
>>> On Thu, Dec 15, 2016 at 12:44 PM, Scott Knitter <scottknitter at gmail.com>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>> In general I wish them well enough to spare them my odd, boring self.
>>>> Said another way, I'm not afraid of children but am afraid of making
>>>> them wish they were elsewhere.
>>>>
>>>> In the instances where we find ourselves together (like my 7th-grade
>>>> niece at Thanksgiving, who's growing up to be a curious,
>>>> deep-thinking, lovely introvert), I just try to be genuine while
>>>> showing interest and having a relaxed conversation. Then the guilt
>>>> sets in that I can't do more than that and I assume it's more
>>>> sinister: that I won't due to various deficiencies in my character.
>>>>
>>>> On Wed, Dec 14, 2016 at 9:32 AM, Jay Weigel <jay.weigel at gmail.com>
>>>> wrote:
>>>> > I don't know how you feel about children in general, Scott
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> --
>>>> Scott R. Knitter
>>>> Edgewater, Chicago, Illinois USA
>>>>
>>>>



-- 
Scott R. Knitter
Edgewater, Chicago, Illinois USA