[Magdalen] Quiet Pub

Sat Dec 17 04:21:46 UTC 2016

Thank you so much for your kind words of agreement, Scott!

James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
*“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy

On Fri, Dec 16, 2016 at 8:49 AM, Scott Knitter <scottknitter at gmail.com>
wrote:

> James, right on...This is well written and very helpful. Thank you.  Scott
>
> On Thu, Dec 15, 2016 at 11:11 PM, James Oppenheimer-Crawford
> <oppenheimerjw at gmail.com> wrote:
> > It is a sad fact that every year at this time, we run into that holiday
> > which I choose to call krismus, which depresses the heck out of a lot of
> > us, because, even though we don't really buy the premise of krismus, it
> has
> > worked its way into our society to such an extent that a lot of good
> people
> > sincerely attach a lot of the tenets of krismus to that other festival we
> > observe around this time, the Feast of the Incarnation.
> >
> > Krismus places demands on us which usually can only be met with some
> > difficulty, and, for some of us, cannot possibly be met.  We expect a lot
> > from ourselves. We want to be with people who may not be the best to be
> > around, for any number of reasons. We try to do a lot which we might do
> > very poorly, and end up doing the task not very well, adding more guilt
> to
> > the laundry list of stuff we haven't been "doing right."
> >
> > But to a large extent, we have a set of unspoken expectations or rules
> that
> > derive from the way krismus was observed many years ago, when perhaps it
> > was a bit more fun, or because in those days, shallow rites were enough
> for
> > us. In any case, we can get this nagging sense of not measuring up, of
> not
> > doing a good enough job of observing krismus in many ways.  We may not
> even
> > be able to articulate these concerns in a conscious way, but the sense of
> > failure and inadequacy is still quite real.  I think that a professional
> > counselor can be very useful for this sort of thing, because they are
> often
> > quite expert to putting their finger on a problem (or, more to the point,
> > if they know their business, helping you to put your own finger on the
> > actual problem) Often, it may take one or two sessions to help you see
> the
> > actual problems clearly enough to get on with the business of dealing
> with
> > them.
> >
> > Observing the Feast of the Incarnation will not place these expectations
> on
> > us, so long as we maintain a good sense of what the differences are
> between
> > krismus and Christmas.
> >
> > On a different tack, I'd say that if someone is feeling blue, it may well
> > be reactions to unspoken demands of krismus, but depression is nothing to
> > ignore, because it does not go away on its own; it can be muted by
> > increased exercise, joyful activities, and even simply fulfilling
> > activities, but it ought not to be ignored, nor should one assume that
> > depression is just a sign of a weakness of personality. It's not. It's a
> > function of cumulative life experiences and one's genetic load. It can
> also
> > leave you especially vulnerable to life events that would ordinarily only
> > be bumps on the road.
> >
> > James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
> > *“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
> > except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy
> >
> > On Thu, Dec 15, 2016 at 9:21 PM, Lynn Ronkainen <houstonklr at gmail.com>
> > wrote:
> >
> >> You can't *be* to people what they don't want you to be.
> >>> -M
> >>>
> >>
> >>
> >> very profound, thought provoking words.... that can be seem from various
> >> positions.
> >> Lynn
> >>
> >> website: www.ichthysdesigns.com
> >>
> >> When I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I have
> not
> >> a single bit of talent left and could say, "I used everything You gave
> me."
> >> attributed to Erma Bombeck
> >> "Either Freedom for all or stop talking about Freedom at all" from a
> talk
> >> by Richard Rohr
> >>
> >> --------------------------------------------------
> >> From: "ME Michaud" <michaudme at gmail.com>
> >> Sent: Thursday, December 15, 2016 11:50 AM
> >> To: <magdalen at herberthouse.org>
> >> Subject: Re: [Magdalen] Quiet Pub
> >>
> >> My own observation:
> >>> children ignore adults far more effectively than adults ignore
> children.
> >>>
> >>> You can't *be* to people what they don't want you to be.
> >>> -M
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> On Thu, Dec 15, 2016 at 12:44 PM, Scott Knitter <
> scottknitter at gmail.com>
> >>> wrote:
> >>>
> >>> In general I wish them well enough to spare them my odd, boring self.
> >>>> Said another way, I'm not afraid of children but am afraid of making
> >>>> them wish they were elsewhere.
> >>>>
> >>>> In the instances where we find ourselves together (like my 7th-grade
> >>>> niece at Thanksgiving, who's growing up to be a curious,
> >>>> deep-thinking, lovely introvert), I just try to be genuine while
> >>>> showing interest and having a relaxed conversation. Then the guilt
> >>>> sets in that I can't do more than that and I assume it's more
> >>>> sinister: that I won't due to various deficiencies in my character.
> >>>>
> >>>> On Wed, Dec 14, 2016 at 9:32 AM, Jay Weigel <jay.weigel at gmail.com>
> >>>> wrote:
> >>>> > I don't know how you feel about children in general, Scott
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> --
> >>>> Scott R. Knitter
> >>>> Edgewater, Chicago, Illinois USA
> >>>>
> >>>>
>
>
>
> --
> Scott R. Knitter
> Edgewater, Chicago, Illinois USA
>