[Magdalen] Reunion blues

[Jay Weigel]

I went to my 40th and it was a revelation! I talked to people I had barely
noticed in high school, (or who had barely noticed me), hugged and was
hugged by people I had not exactly been friends with then, but became
friends with at the reunion, and learned a great deal. All the barriers
that used to be are down by 40 years on. I wish I had gone to the 50th. If
there's a 55th I'm going. I may never see those people again. Some I
probably saw for the last time at the 40th: some; sadly, I know I did, as
they have passed since then.

On Fri, Sep 7, 2018 at 8:07 PM Lesley de Voil <lesleymdv at gmail.com> wrote:

> Agreeing wholeheartedly with those who would say, “If you don’t go, there
> may be never another opportunity for closure in an unresolved breakdown in
> relationship.” I went to the funeral of the wife of a colleague, and met up
> with another ex-colleague whom I had resented for years. Suffice it to say,
> we have both changed (? matured) and have become completely reconciled
> since then. If I had not gone to the funeral, even out of a sense of duty,
> this reconciliation may never have happened.
>
> Regards
> Lesley de Voil
>
> On Sat, 8 Sep 2018 at 07:38, Scott Knitter <scottknitter at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > What a marvelous reconciliation out of a moment of self-sharing and
> > forgiveness, 40 years on, Simon!
> >
> > I was just thinking, though, how Facebook may have changed class reunions
> > somewhat: classmate Mike Wilkins could say he's been working as a
> producer
> > at WBUR in Boston for The World, a joint production of WBUR and the BBC
> > World Service. And we'd all say, "Yep, we know from Facebook...how cool!
> > What celebrities have you met lately, and what is Marco Wurman like?"
> Mary
> > Jane Mudd could tell tales of being a spokeswoman for the Red Cross in
> > Houston during the horrible floods, and having to take harsh criticism
> for
> > perceived inadequacies in the shelters. "I know...how terrible; the
> > pictures were unbelievable." And I guess I can keep my own story brief
> and
> > avoid the glazed-over look when I explain what I do as a proposal manager
> > for an end-to-end digital technology provider. "For details, see my
> > LinkedIn page." :)
> >
> > So fewer amazing tales of what-I'm-doing-now and more just spontaneous
> time
> > with people you've kept up with on all the newsy stuff. But I'm sure some
> > amazement at seeing folks who don't show up on Facebook and whom one
> hasn't
> > thought about in years.
> >
> > On Fri, Sep 7, 2018 at 3:29 PM Simon Kershaw <simon at kershaw.org.uk>
> wrote:
> >
> > > I went to my 40th reunion last year.
> > >
> > > Soon afterwards I wrote this:
> > >
> > > 'And secondly there was meeting the person who had been the class
> bully,
> > > and I one of his victims. "I was in two minds whether to come," he
> said,
> > > "and especially what I would say to you." "We didn't always get on, did
> > > we?" I replied, putting my arm round his shoulder. "I was horrible," he
> > > said, "not a nice person at all. I was bullied at home and I behaved
> the
> > > same at school." I think it was a moment of closure for both of us, 40
> > > years on.'
> https://www.facebook.com/kershaw.simon/posts/1423775084383838
> > >
> > > and then added this in a private email:
> > >
> > > 'The background on Saturday was that the two of us had bumped into each
> > > other very early on in the afternoon, and I had asked what he had been
> > > doing and we chatted about our families and careers. Then later we
> found
> > > ourselves together again, and that's when the reported conversation
> took
> > > place, but after he had said that he didn't know how or what he would
> > > say to me he added "but you were brilliant, you just talked to me", and
> > > it was at that moment that it occurred to me that I had it completely
> in
> > > my power to show that he was forgiven (I explicitly use religious
> > > language here). My gesture and words were completely spontaneous but
> > > intended to convey that. I presume they did so because he then opened
> up
> > > about his background. That was not known to me at the time (and doesn't
> > > absolve him of responsibility for what he did), but I really sensed
> > > there was closure for him in this. And later, as I wrote the Facebook
> > > post, I realized that in a sense there was also closure for me.
> > > I didn't expect any of that to happen on Saturday.
> > > So ... okay, I'm happy for this to be shared with the Headmaster if you
> > > wish to do so. But any further sharing I'd want to think about a bit
> > more.'
> > >
> > > You never know what's going to happen, or what impact it might have, do
> > > you?
> > >
> > > simon
> > >
> > > On 07/09/2018 21.13, Rick Mashburn wrote:
> > > > I've never been to any of my reunions. I have absolutely no regrets.
> I
> > > see
> > > > the people I want to see from time to time and have no interest in
> the
> > > > rest.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > --
> > > Simon Kershaw
> > > simon at kershaw.org.uk
> > > Saint Ives, Cambridgeshire
> > >
> >
> >
> > --
> > Scott R. Knitter
> > Edgewater, Chicago, Illinois USA
> >
> --
> Sent from MetroMail
>